Bullying is not a simple quarrel between young people and it is not a normal stage of growing up. It is an aggressive behaviour repeated over time, with an imbalance of strength, power or position between those who attack and those who suffer. It may be physical, verbal, psychological, social or digital.
One of the most serious mistakes adults can make is to minimise it. Sentences such as “they are just kids”, “ignore it” or “it will pass” can leave the child even more alone. Those who suffer bullying often feel shame, fear and guilt, and may find it difficult to speak. For this reason, the first duty of adults is to create a safe space.
The signs can be different: sudden sadness, irritability, refusal to go to school, frequent headaches or stomach aches, sleep problems, isolation, loss of interest, lower school performance, broken objects or fear after using the phone. These signs do not prove bullying by themselves, but they deserve attention.
When a child speaks, the answer matters. Adults should say clearly that it is not their fault, that speaking was the right thing to do and that they will not be left alone. It is useful to collect information: dates, places, names, messages, screenshots and concrete episodes.
The school should be involved early. Teachers, coordinators and school leaders must be able to act on the group dynamics, not only on the individual episode. Bullying is not solved by leaving the victim alone with the problem.
In serious cases, or when there are signs of deep suffering, self-harm, intense fear or isolation, professional help is necessary. The most important message is simple: you are not alone, it is not your fault, asking for help is an act of strength.